Wednesday, December 4, 2013

How WE Roll: To a Happy and Healthy Relationship?

Its Time by Imagine Dragons on Grooveshark
About a month ago, I was sitting in class talking to a few of my classmates during an assignment. It wasn't long before we all strayed off topic. Which wasn't hard given the boring topic, and at times I think my professors do this on purpose so they can take a break and let us talk. Some of the wonderful ladies that were sitting at my table began talking about their boyfriends. I'm a straight up listener. I love hearing other peoples stories before I tell my own, and my table had picked up on this. 

After a few classes, they were curious about my life. Since I haven't really shared anything deep or intimate they started asking question. 

The first one..."when's the wedding date?". Y'all know it's next year, but I haven't released it yet because I wanted to sign the contract with my venue before telling anyone. 

Secondly "how long have you been together?". Y'all should know by now, that my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. When they found out how many years we'd been together, I promise their jaws dropped. 

Which lead to the next question..."How old are you?" lol I love this question, really I do! When I said how old I was (28) they looked baffled. Which made me 18 when I began dating my fiance. The interrogation was on, and they were not letting me off the hook. 

Then my favorite question..."How do you keep your relationship healthy?" I think at this point they wanted to pick my brain. I've heard all their stories about the boys they dated, and what not so I think they were truly looking for advice.

It made me think, how do we keep a relationship healthy and happy? If these women have had their hardships in relationships, and needed to know what the secret to a healthy and happy relationship was, what was I to say? In some cases, this is a woman's opportunity to hold her head high, lie, and get some sort of satisfaction that she indeed has concurred something these other women have not. Of course, I had a satisfaction that my fiance and I have made it this far, and it was a great triumph, but I wasn't about to become a liar to get the recognition.  How could I explain it without making it seem like sunshine and rainbows, as well as not scare them away from love altogether? 

It would be arrogant for me to state that my fiance and I are "one of the lucky ones", because to be honest we're far from Yes, we're lucky...very lucky to not have ripped off each others heads by now. Lucky to understand when it's time to walk away. Lucky to have seen our parents getting divorced, which then transferred into our relationship, making it one of the slowest relationships to develop. Lucky to be on the same page when it came to getting married. Lucky to have met through my sister and his cousin. Lucky that we both have a LOVE for food. Lucky that we're both lazy bums. Lucky that were both secure with ourselves, and our relationship, that we don't need to spend every waking moment together. Lucky that I finally learned how to cook his favorite meals. Lucky that were both patient with each other. Lucky to have tested each others nerves in and out, until finally agreeing we knew what we're both getting into after 10 years   I mean if I'm being truthful, these are all TRUE, and RAW facts. 

So what did I end up telling these awesome, and beautiful women sitting at my table, and by now half the class? 

 It takes two to build a relationship. I wouldn't be able to keep a relationship going if my other half wasn't there to help. I learned that every couple goes through their issues, whether they want to admit it or not. It may be easy in the beginning, but as time goes on...things start to change, people change, situations change. It happens, and you have to roll with the punches.
It's your relationship, and if both parties believe your love is worth fighting for, than that's half the battle there! Build your relationship together, the way you both see fit. No one else has a right to judge it, or pressure it. 
Believe it or not even though Gil and I completed 10 years,  I've been told by several women that it isn't the same as marriage? lol WHAT!
Excuse me, NO, no, honey, it's the same as marriage to me! It's the same as marriage to me, because even though it's probably been way too long without nuptials, we've been through all the same up and downs, as those with a piece of paper that states "marriage license".  That's how we roll, your relationship can roll a different way!  

That's how we roll y'all, how do y'all roll? I love hearing from my readers. Whether your new, old, offended, humored, loved, blogger, giveaway entry, guest, googler...whatever it may be, drop me a line!


  1. I love your honesty and advice!

    Great post. Thank you for sharing.

    Found you on the link up! Jill @

  2. Thanks so much for your advice! My fiance and I have been together for four years and I agree! It already feels like marriage, just without the piece of paper stating so!

  3. I'm glad you appreciated my advice, and agree with me :)

  4. Hi Jill! I love being honest! I'm glad you enjoyed my post. I noticed you left me you link, but when I click on it, it says error. Can you try sending me the link again. I would love to browse your blog :)


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