Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Influential Friend 1 Tonya: Will your Marriage Last?

Good Evening y'all! 

It's been a long time coming, but I've finally come around to posting my first Influential Friend guest post! This post comes from a phenomenal blogger named Tonya! She blogs over at Chapter TK. She is an amazing writer, and has been gracious enough to be featured on my humbling small blog! I hope you enjoy her post, and leave her some feedback! 

Will Your Marriage Last? What Today’s Statistics Say About Successful Marriages 

Marriage is a rightly celebrated, joyful event about which everyone and their mother has an opinion. High on the list of matrimony annoyances is that out-dated statistic on divorce. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce, a statistic from the 1970's, when divorce was at it’s highest. It’s time we updated our rhetoric to consider recent statistics on marriage and divorce. 

     Having worked for an online dating site blog in my college years, seen all the numbers and the first thing that sticks out to me is how hard they are to come by. Everyone wants to blame someone for divorce. Some point at the feminist movement (because God forbid a woman have her own job and the ability to leave an abusive husband) and others blame the youth of marrying couples. 

     Among all that finger pointing over the depressing 1970s statistics, you would think someone would have thought to keep tabs on how marriage and divorce progressed through future decades. Certainly the passing of over 40 years has brought about some change, right? 

     According to a 2007 NBC News article, the highest divorce rate seen in America was 5.2 per 1,000 people. This is where the ‘50% divorce rate’ comes from. Today, this rate is down to 3.4 per 1,000 people. While America still has one of the highest divorce rates in the world, this drop is significant. All couples looking towards marriage should know the divorce rate has been steadily decreasing. 
     Now, the biggest question on everyone’s mind is what determines the likelihood of a marriage’s success? I’ll give you you the pretty numbers in a minute, but first I’ll give you the fast and dirty answer: common sense. Marry when you are ready and not a moment before. Don’t get married because you feel pressured to, because you already live together or because you expect a Disney fairytale. 

     Every relationship is different. The way two partners love each other is unique to them. Marriage is very similar. All the numbers in the world cannot tell what is right for you. You will know when you are ready to be married. 

     Yet, since we love to compare our relationship to national statistics and studies, let’s see what current research say about marriage.

Cohabitation used to be considered a significant risk factor for divorce, but recent studies show that, so long as a couple does not cohabitate before the age of 23, cohabitation has an insignificant effect on the likelihood of a successful marriage. 

The average woman gets married at the age of 27 and the average man at 29. It’s theorized the increased maturity that comes with age contributes to the lowering divorce rate. 

Having a child before marriage increases the chances of divorce. 

More education (i.e. earning a college degree) significantly reduces the chance of divorce. 

     The above is why I narrowed down the success of marriage to common sense. Wait until you have enough maturity, education and life stability before you tie the knot and your marriage will stand the best chance. ____ 

     For some extra fun, check out the which U.S. States and which countries have the highest and lowest rates of divorce.

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